That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
