Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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