Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
