So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
