Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
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