It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
