I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
