yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I have tasted many bathrooms
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
