I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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