Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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