I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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