porn star boner night. come get it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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