Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
