in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize