it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
