I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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