He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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