At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
