my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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