3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
