So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Randomize
