last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
