Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
