wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize