Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize