Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
