the new term for farting is butt boxing.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
