She said her name was "party"
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
