He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
