Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
