Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
