Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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