THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
