I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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