he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
