All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
