you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
