sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
