I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
