For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
