I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
