She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
