dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
