Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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