we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
