if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize