Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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