well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
