Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
operation have a gay friend backfired
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
