Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize