Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I am midnight drunk by noon
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
