He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
