I need help removing her.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just invented taco cereal.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
