How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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