Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
