i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This is the high leading the old right now
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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