Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Randomize