OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
