You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Rumble strips road head = magical
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
