we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
