the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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