great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
