Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
