So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
