That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize