Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
